As I look back, it seems that I am not the same person that I once was. I’ve heard someone challenge, “People don’t change.” I respond to that challenge, “Nobody stays the same.”
Religions are interesting, I guess, because their nature concerns man’s quest for improvement, a movement inward, outward, or both from a place of trouble to a place of peace.
In my dream last night, several of my friends and I decided to hurry up to see this peace-to see what was next. We decided that we were going to let someone kill us. The plan was that we would deliberately and peacefully lie on our backs in the grass and close our eyes and then the other person would shove a spade shovel through our throats and sever our heads.
Somehow, I was the one holding the spade-and I had no peace. Even after the rest were asleep, I was still awake.
It would only be appropriate that someone should learn of the killings and then kill me too, but that never happened. As it turns out, those who would sentence me had their own friends and they too were looking for peace.
When I woke up from my dream, I wondered about all of this in the back yard. To my relief, there were no severed heads or spade shovels lying on the grass. The moon was the most commanding celestial body that I had ever witnessed. It was exactly 4 a.m.
Although I was barefoot and bleary-eyed, I stood at attention in the bright light.
“Change me, even yet while I am alive. Give your face to shine on me and give me peace.”
Suddenly, I was reminded of how He is my friend too. He is the type of friend, however, who takes us against our will from a place of trouble to a place of death and then to a place of peace. We have terribly misunderstood the nature of the trouble we are in. It didn’t merely mean that I was a killer and now I was going to be sentenced, it meant that I too was the one with a severed head.
We have also terribly misunderstood the nature of that peace. It didn’t merely mean that I have painless access to it. It meant that I would have to die for it.
I was already dead in my attempt to find peace, but I had grown a new head that I was quite fond of. My friends and I were convinced that we were able to improve our situation and find peace for ourselves. I am my own Messiah!
But now it is my turn to lie down in the grass and close my eyes.
“Here I am. If there is any part of my body that causes me to sin, cit it off.”
“Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean religion, and I live among a people of unclean religion, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.” (May God pardon me for taking poetic license with His infallible Word)
I am not the same person that I once was. I’ve heard someone challenge, “People don’t change.” I respond to that challenge, “Nobody stays the same. Here am I, send me.”